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Losing to Win.

Gone are the days of sulking, crying my heart out and alone times during a terrible after-quiz syndromes of me..

Disappointments, losing and failures have been my closest friend for the past few days and/or months. I’ve been working too hard on acads, I pushed to my limits, pressured myself, overdosing caffeine just to stay awake, neglecting friends and opportunities.. and all the stuff that can pull off a Hermione.

But unfortunately things don’t happen the way we expected it. Here comes disappointments, low self esteem and loss of confidence. I was near to believing I can’t do anything exceptionally good and that no matter how hard I try, I cannot achieve anything. My heart was broken. A lot of times. It was only this time that I found the need to let it all out. Because apparently, failures are taking too much space in my system. 

As much as I  wanted to put the blame to the unfair circumstances of life, I can’t because I know it was completely my fault and nobody else’s. I was too hard on my self, yes. I expect too much from myself, yes. I find it hard to accept failures and rejection, (big) YES. 

Thankful for today, I realized so many things, with the help of friends, a good song and my forever source of good vibes, Candy Magazine! Just before I reached our house, I accepted the fact that it was my fault and the fact that there’s nothing I can do to change what happened. (Unless, my time-turner magically works). But instead, I should change the way I see things and learn to accept them. I should learn to use them as a weapon and inspiration to move forward and keep trying. After all, being great and winning is not about the absence of failure. As what Candy Mag taught me, its having the courage to fail and stick around.

Let me end this post with words from Carrie Bradshaw, 

 “We like to set goals to be in control, but sometimes you need to let go of the control, because we have to deal with wherever we end up” . 



Posted 1 year ago
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